Dancing Her Jig

I don’t know which
surprises me more:
who I was
or
who I’ve become.

The Nancy of Today
has always been with me.
She has sat center stage
with my psyche.
She has also enjoyed
playing a masterful game
of hide-and-seek.

She has skipped,
frolicked,
and darted
throughout my yesteryears.
While she hadn’t fully
introduced herself yet,
unbeknownst to me,
her role was far more significant
than an Alfred Hitchcock
cameo appearance.
The shadow
of her fingerprints
are distinct
when viewing reels
of home movies.

A grand entrance
was never her style.
She infiltrated gradually,
almost indistinguishably,
leisurely taking the reins
to run the show.
Once she shimmied
into the pilot seat,
I was dancing
her jig with glee!

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C
Poem #387
May 30, 2014

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Ascending From The Ashes

As many of you know, I get my blood tested in Greece. They have test there that we don’t have here. It measures circulating cancer stem cells in the blood stream. These are the cells that look to find a place attach and create their own blood supply, i.e. cause recurrences. I’ve been getting my blood tested since April 2012. I just recently got another done. While my numbers dropped from last time, they are still way higher than desired. We want my numbers <2. The results I’ve had from my first test to now are as follows: 6.3, 6.1, 5.8, 6.4, 6.1.

Ascending From The Ashes

I. Am. A. Warrior.
I can never
lay down my sword.
Yet
I hoped and prayed,
I could relax my stance.
Put my blade
back in its sheath.

No can do.
The enemy
is still circulating.
Troops lurking about.
Combat operations
being developed.
Ready to ambush.
Wanting to siege.
Almost imperceivable.

The most recent
glimpse of their
battle plan
has left me
disheartened.

My amour is secure.
In the light of day,
my smile is in place,
acting as a shield.
My thoughts swing
on rainbows and sunshine.

Quiet moments alone
bring the beast
to the forefront.
Tears of dismay
burn my eyes.
Blinding me.

On my knees,
fervently
flapping my feathers
with all the moxie
I can muster.
Cemented
in quicksand.
Struggling
to take flight.

Again.
And.
Again.
Endlessly.

Fear.
Anxiety.
Become my companions.
They follow me.
They barge into my head
and rant on
incessantly.

Their voices
attempt to devour
my every thought.
I rein them in.
Holding tightly upon the rope.
Giving them no slack.
Keeping them
rooted by my side.

Directing my thoughts
out of the abyss.
Running a positive loop
to penetrate
and overpower
their relentless
shrieking.

Struggling to shift
the teeter totter
from Discouragement
to
Pure Determination.

My Spirit Rises.
Prevails.
Squirms away
from those masqueraded comrades.

I ascend
from the ashes
to the other side.
Befriending
Hope.
Trust.
Belief.
They become
my beloved playmates!

They hold my hand
as I turn my back on the chasm
and skip toward the radiant,
panoramic landscape.

Together, we will create
new strategies.
Our forces are stronger
than theirs.
I will out maneuver them.
They. Cannot. Touch. Me.
Deep inside me,
the power is unlimited.

I.
Will.
Walk.
Through.
This.
Fire.
I believe.
I know.
I. Will. Survive.
Conquer.
Thrive.
Flourish.
Spread my wings.
Soar.
I.
Will.
Heal.
This.
Land.

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed.
Certified Health Coach
May 1 – 3, 2014
Poem #385

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No Future. No Past. Where Our Magic Happens!

As my 48th birthday approaches, I contemplate birthday celebrations. Okay, we’ve lived another year, yet really it’s just another day lived. It indicates the passage of time, which I think we all will attest, goes way too fast. As I ponder the days of my life, there are more outstanding milestones to celebrate. Days upon which I’ve done something far greater than marking calendar pages turned. At the same time, EVERY day is a gift. The ONLY day we truly have is TODAY. The only moment to call our own is NOW. The heart of time. No future. No past. The only point in which we get to live. Truly the moment of celebration.

It’s so easy to get caught up in our routines, moving from task to task without much thought. Lists of what we’ve done and what we need to do occupying our head space. We’ve all been there. We’ve all done that. Living in the HERE and NOW takes practice. A daily practice. While it can be challenge, the HERE/NOW is where our magic happens. It’s where we connect to our true, inner selves. It’s where all the colors of the most vivid kaleidoscope transform into a glorious white light. No judgements. No discriminations. It’s where hearts merge and beat as one.

I’m all for celebrating each of our milestones, birthdays included. My desire is to also celebrate the enchantment of HERE/NOW. Knowing it is exactly where I need to be, at the juncture I need to be there. Living in the heart of each moment is powerful and transformative!

We all have this inner mastery. For some it’s dormant, yet it is still within each of us. You’ll be amazed with what happens when you awaken your inherent wisdom. The more you engage, the more your mundane becomes extraordinary! The simplest of times become passionate. A delightful, delectable, jubilation! Come join me! Exuberance awaits!

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C.

Inner Goddess

Inner Goddess

Sometimes Ms. Vanity,
chases away Ms. Confidence,
and comes knocking on my door.
She keeps her companion,
Ms. Self-Conscious,
in close tow.
I try to ignore them both.
But they howl and howl,
and they huff and they puff,
until I let them in.

They point and laugh.
Magnifying and Amplifying
all the cruel tricks of Nature
I want to eradicate.

Hair loss
where I want to keep it.
Hair growth
where I could do without!
My tweezers and I
have a friend/foe relationship.
Every day,
we have a stare down
in the mirror.
Plucking and taunting
as we dance in the ring.
Bulges, jiggles, and wiggles
jamming to the beat.

Dryness
in the most undesirable places.
Wetness
at the most inconvenient times.
Winkles
taking ownership of my skin.

Ruminants
of my Perfect Girls
are in the eyes
of a Scarecrow.
Helter Skelter
Purple Hearts
slashed across
their cheeks.

One would think
my husband’s declining vision
would help my parable,
yet his fingers do the walking.
He knows me by braille!

What Is
is
What Is.
It’s better
than the alternative!
Control what you can,
and LET GO of all the rest!

Find your Inner Goddess.
Gaze upon her
in your reflection.
She is your True Self.
She is your Muse.
Present her
to the world.
Walk in her light!

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C.
January 16, 2014
Poem # 384

The Same, Yet Completely Different!

The Same, Yet Completely Different!

Two years ago today,
my life was saved!
I became
a breast cancer Survivor.
Conqueror.
Warrior.
Phoenix.

Little did I know then,
this day
would be one to celebrate.
Without a diagnosis,
a demon was silently
suffocating me.

The words
which felt like daggers
ripping through my soul,
were actually angels
flying in to rescue me!

When the announcement
shattered the airwaves,
my world came crashing
down upon me,
plunging me
into a darkness
I’ve never known before.

Despair and Fear
became my full-time companions.
They followed me
everywhere.
They barged into my head
and ranted on
incessantly.

Their voices devoured
my every thought.
Nothing could
penetrate
their relentless
shrieking.

Somewhere along
the Trinity Trails,
my inner terrain
recalibrated.
A shift
unfolded.
Transposed.

My spirit inverted.
Rose.
Prevailed.
Squirmed away
from those masqueraded comrades.

I ascended
to the other side
and befriended
Hope.
Trust.
Belief.
They became
my beloved playmates!

They held my hand
as I turned my back on the abyss
and skipped toward the radiant,
panoramic landscape.

My heart overflowed
with the beat
of the Phoenix and the Dove.
Entirely encompassed.
Overpowering
static wailing
from the inside out.

Their sweet voices
chanted in harmonious unison.
Composing a symphony
which mended
my broken wings,
elevated me,
and gave me the strength
to take flight.

In these last two years,
I traveled to places
I never thought I’d have go.
I marshaled qualities
I never knew I had.
I scaled mountains
and crawled out
of seemingly bottomless,
and oh so very bleak,
chasms.

I have been to the edge
of the world and back.
Helter Skelter
Purple Hearts
slashed across my chest.

I battled a demon
and returned transformed.
I left ordinary and burdened
and come back
empowered and invigorated.

In the midst of combat,
I went through a metamorphosis.
Darkness and Light.
Twilight and Eclipse.
Combusting.
Alchemy.
Expansive and Exuberant.
Vivid and Brilliant.
A Total Color Spectrum.
I was reconstructed.

A Quantum Evolution transpired.
I’ve become someone
I never knew
I could be!
I see with different eyes.
I feel with a rejuvenated heart.
My mind is remolded.
I am the same,
yet completely different!

Before the demon
tried to take residence
inside my body,
I thought
I had my life’s work figured out.
I thought
my path was forged
and firmly mapped out.
Enduring warfare
revolutionized my spirit.

Scattered across
the depths of combat,
I realized
my thoroughfare
was really a foundation in disguise –
navigating and preparing me
for a path upon which
I never thought I’d step.

The jigsaw puzzle
descended into place.
My undeniable purpose
was revealed to me,
paraded before my eyes,
at the exact moment
I was meant to know.

Billboards in the sky.
Flashing, neon lights.
Flare guns.
Exploding fireworks.
Signs everywhere.
The message was luminous.
Pitch perfect a cappella.
Absorbed and reverberating.
Drenching every cell of my being.
Full-blown saturation.

I was meant to have face-off
with the demon.
I was supposed to cross swords
and come out on the other side
transfigured.
Only then,
would I be equip
to walk the path
designed for me.

The rest of my life
is devoted
to empowering others
to live healthy lifestyles
for disease prevention
or triumphing and flourishing
in spite of it!

This is all beyond me.
I am a sparking conduit.
Singing the lyrics
the heavens
are whispering
straight into my heart.
A drop in the ocean.
A delicate snowflake.
Infinitesimal,
yet all that matters.

The Universe
expanding.
Inside out.
Outside in.
Every
IS
WAS
WILL BE
– Undivided.
Merging.
Intertwining.
One Breath.
Absolute Abundance
embracing
my entire being.

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C.
December 11 – 16, 2013
Poem #382

Unadulterated Fabrication

Unadulterated Fabrication

Our imaginations
fill-in-the-blanks
of stories we don’t know.
We get a glimpse,
and write the rest of the tale,
based on the Island of What Ifs.
Inhabited exclusively
with phantoms
we conjure up.

The shaky terrain
is filled with
darkness and shadows.
Ghosts lurking
from our past.
Never ending loops
of dismal possibilities
shrieking in our ears.
Echoes ricocheting off
the walls of our minds
like lottery numbers
bouncing off a plastic dome.

Worse Case Scenarios
thrive in The Gap between
What Is and What If.
They camp out in this chasm.
Pitching tent
for as long as we allow.
As real and as tangible
as they appear,
their credibility
is a sham.
They breathe only within us.

As the mirage expands,
it overtakes
our field of vision,
and blinds us
with the lurid side of
glamour and glitz.
Hocus-pocus
boomeranging
in a trick mirror.
Simultaneously,
our minds become
the pent-up hostage
and the warden,
mockingly swinging
the keys to freedom.

Yet in the space
of reality,
we don’t know
more than an instance.
It’s as if we thumb through a novel,
pick a few words off a random page,
and think we’ve penned the book ourselves.
The ending is firmly
footed in the depths of our minds.

The hourglass is an illusion,
stretched beyond recognition.
There’s a lifetime
trailing every split second,
transcending its capacity.
Infinity lives
behind the scenes.
Beyond the curtain,
the Wizard is busy
at work.

As the epic unfolds,
hidden details emerge.
The threads weave
together.
The tapestry
is brighter
than we ever
conceived possible.
Every time.

Vacate The Island of What Ifs.
It is all a myth.
Unadulterated Fabrication.
Lasso and tether
your runaway thoughts.
Rein them in.
Guide them as firmly
as a jockey bridles
a wild horse.

Calm your spirit.
Soothe your soul.
Anchor your musings
in sparkling waves of luminosity.
Firmly root
your psyche
on The Shore of What Is.
Playground or Penitentiary.
Flowers and rainbows
or concrete and chains.
An ocean apart.
A world within.
The choice is ours.

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C.
August 20-21, 2013
Poem #380

Quantum Health

Quantum Health

Under the knife,
once again.
Howbeit,
I have never felt
So alive!
So vibrant!

‘Twas the night before surgery.
Sitting in nature.
Music rocking my soul.
Weaving through
my hotwired nerves.
Calming my anxious heart.
Coursing through my veins.
Feeding my spirit
strength and power.
Lulling the ogre
into submission.

I am forever amazed,
there is
or ever was
a beast inside of me,
needing to be slain.
You’d never know it
from the outside looking in,
or from the inside looking out.

I am strong.
Mighty.
Tenacious.
I feel great.
I am BUSTING out,
with vim and vigor!

The counter balance of
Yin and Yang.
Teetering off kilter.
Never have I been sick.
My diagnosis
is not my prognosis.

It is only
one moment
in time.
Forever changing.
Never to be the same.
Dynamic.
As fluid as an ocean shore.
Always in motion,
moving toward
Quantum Health.
Prevailing!
I will survive!
I am alive and vibrant!
Nothing can stop me!

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C.
July 7 – 9, 2013
Poem #379