CEMENTED IN AN ILLUSION

For being such a confident person,
I have a splash of insecurity too.
I really dislike its flare ups.
The land is cultivated.
A seed is pitched,
and it sprouts,
becoming its own separate entity.
Turning on its matriarch,
seizing total domination.
Playing me like a puppeteer!

Yesterday’s fears
haunt today.
Events which would otherwise
go unnoticed,
get magnified and distorted,
as if I’m looking through
a Funhouse mirror.

They compound
and gather momentum.
A runaway horse
trampling through my mind
and crushing my heart.
Tangled up in a labyrinth,
with no way out.
Cemented in an illusion
of my own creation.

How does one reconcile
thoughts twisted
in your own mind,
especially when your sounding board
has knotted circuit breakers?

How do you release yourself
from your own conjuring?

When your measuring tool
is what’s contorted,
how do you escape Mr. Houdini?

Unravel each crumpled thought,
one by one,
like the rubber bands
encased in a golf ball.
Fling them away.
Choose a mantra.
Sing your praises
in surround sound.
Mute self-doubt.

Breathe in Love!
Breathe out Gratitude!
Repeat.

Let go.
Let live.
Be free.
Fly!

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C
June 2, 2015
Poem #397