Targeted Butterfly Effect

Butterflies fluttering
in my psyche.
Morphing into
dragons.
Creating a monsoon.
Flashing lights.
Orange cones.
Struggling to direct
their flight line.
Breathing
my intention
into the wind.
Shepherding
a targeted
Butterfly Effect.
And then —
Let. It. Go.

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C.

April 27, 2015
Poem #395

Targeted Butterfly Effect

Advertisements

STOP. BREATHE. REFOCUS.

No matter how strong my resolve is there are still times of question and waver. Sometimes it is a struggle being the salmon, swimming upstream. It is far easier to go with the flow of the water and swim with everyone else. The opposition is few, and there is strength in numbers. At the same time, I cannot take the path everyone else takes, just because it is easier.

While my resolve is impenetrable, every so often, the voices of the masses get louder. I start hearing the whispers during my quiet times. The static becomes boisterous. The buzzing in my ear is relentless. I begin to question the path upon which I’m walking. My arms fatigue swimming against the current. I grow weary.

STOP. BREATHE. REFOCUS. I must follow my heart and listen to my inner guidance, even if that means my strength in numbers is one.

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C.
01/23/15

Then & Now

Preface
Three years ago, at this time, on this day, I had no idea what was in store, what the day would hold. I had no idea that the events of the day to come would change my life forevermore. I had no idea. Now I know.
********************
“I am certain your test results will come back positive for cancer.” I heard those words three years ago today, as I was getting prepped for a needle biopsy. Those twelve words are forever etched in my memory. They rocked my world and changed my life forevermore. The moment they hit the airwaves, my world came crashing in, suffocating my every breath. A cloak of darkness enveloped my very being.

As I look upon that moment three years later, it is like looking through a telescope backwards. So much has happened between Then and Now. The hourglass was stretched beyond its physical dimensions. The enormous milestone somehow looks smaller in the rear view mirror, yet that line drawn in the sand forever changed me. While getting diagnosed is the scariest thing you’ll ever go through, it is a gift. You’re given the opportunity to fight, triumph, and flourish! The words, which felt like daggers cutting through my very core, were actually angels flying in to save my life!
********************
Epilogue
Telling your loved ones you’ve been diagnosed with cancer is heart wrenching.
Proclaiming to the world that you are a cancer SURVIVOR is empowering!

Here is a link to the poem I wrote about this point in my pilgrimage.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/back-to-health-4-life-nancy-michlin-health-coachmotivatorauthor/breathe-smile-move-forward/741570309259129

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed, C.H.C.

Breathe. Smile. Move Forward.

Breathe. Smile. Move Forward.

Fear.
Joy.
Anxiety.
Relief.
All occupying the same space.
Living in a parallel moment.
Sharing an identical voice.

The farther away from
the line drawn
on my calendar pages,
the better!

The five year mark
looming in the distance.
Simultaneously,
it is
exciting
and
scary.
Cheering.
Screaming.
Celebrating.
Crying.
All in the same breath.
Together.
As one.

Getting TO this race ribbon
is not the finish line.
Getting BEYOND it is.
The years
in the rearview mirror
are the sought-after
guideposts.

Tethering my thoughts.
Harnessing them by my side.
Keeping them on one track.
Focus.
Moving the needle
when the record skips.
Redirecting
the runaway thoughts.
Resetting the loop.

I. Will. Survive.
I. Will. Conquer.
I. Will. Thrive.

Breathe.
BE.
Smile.
HERE.
Move forward.
NOW.
Rejoice.

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C.
December 5-10, 2014
Dedicated: Year 3 (12/16/2014)
Poem #391

Hope. Faith. Belief.

Hope. Faith. Belief.

Media.
FDA.
Medical Community.
Researchers.
Doctors.
Fundraisers.

They all want us
to believe
we are winning
the war on cancer.

On the outside,
looking in,
one might think it’s true.
Yet on the battlefield,
one realizes
it is all
whitewash.
The iron curtain is
impenetrable.

My doctor is one of the best.
Even with her expertise,
the most basic questions
still get answered with
“I don’t know.”
“There is no test to determine that.”
“We don’t have the technology.”
“We don’t know why this drug
works on some,
but not others;
and we certainly don’t know
which side of the equation
you will fall.”

It’s all a guessing game.
You get what works
on most,
most of time;
or on some,
some of the time.

When formulating
your Action Plan,
dive into the statistics.
One would think
research
would be conclusive,
yet a case can be made
on either side,
for anything.

Remove all
the smoke and mirrors,
behind the camouflage,
there is one truth
which is absolute.
How do you know
if you are cured of cancer?
When you die of something else…..
or if it comes back.

If you take off
the blindfold,
all that remains is
Hope.
Faith.
Belief.

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C.
August 24-25, 2014
Poem #389

Ascending From The Ashes

As many of you know, I get my blood tested in Greece. They have test there that we don’t have here. It measures circulating cancer stem cells in the blood stream. These are the cells that look to find a place attach and create their own blood supply, i.e. cause recurrences. I’ve been getting my blood tested since April 2012. I just recently got another done. While my numbers dropped from last time, they are still way higher than desired. We want my numbers <2. The results I’ve had from my first test to now are as follows: 6.3, 6.1, 5.8, 6.4, 6.1.

Ascending From The Ashes

I. Am. A. Warrior.
I can never
lay down my sword.
Yet
I hoped and prayed,
I could relax my stance.
Put my blade
back in its sheath.

No can do.
The enemy
is still circulating.
Troops lurking about.
Combat operations
being developed.
Ready to ambush.
Wanting to siege.
Almost imperceivable.

The most recent
glimpse of their
battle plan
has left me
disheartened.

My amour is secure.
In the light of day,
my smile is in place,
acting as a shield.
My thoughts swing
on rainbows and sunshine.

Quiet moments alone
bring the beast
to the forefront.
Tears of dismay
burn my eyes.
Blinding me.

On my knees,
fervently
flapping my feathers
with all the moxie
I can muster.
Cemented
in quicksand.
Struggling
to take flight.

Again.
And.
Again.
Endlessly.

Fear.
Anxiety.
Become my companions.
They follow me.
They barge into my head
and rant on
incessantly.

Their voices
attempt to devour
my every thought.
I rein them in.
Holding tightly upon the rope.
Giving them no slack.
Keeping them
rooted by my side.

Directing my thoughts
out of the abyss.
Running a positive loop
to penetrate
and overpower
their relentless
shrieking.

Struggling to shift
the teeter totter
from Discouragement
to
Pure Determination.

My Spirit Rises.
Prevails.
Squirms away
from those masqueraded comrades.

I ascend
from the ashes
to the other side.
Befriending
Hope.
Trust.
Belief.
They become
my beloved playmates!

They hold my hand
as I turn my back on the chasm
and skip toward the radiant,
panoramic landscape.

Together, we will create
new strategies.
Our forces are stronger
than theirs.
I will out maneuver them.
They. Cannot. Touch. Me.
Deep inside me,
the power is unlimited.

I.
Will.
Walk.
Through.
This.
Fire.
I believe.
I know.
I. Will. Survive.
Conquer.
Thrive.
Flourish.
Spread my wings.
Soar.
I.
Will.
Heal.
This.
Land.

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed.
Certified Health Coach
May 1 – 3, 2014
Poem #385

20140503-093257.jpg

20140503-093402.jpg

Celebrate Every Day!

With my next birthday being around the corner, last night a friend asked how I feel about getting closer to 50 (mind you, I’m still a few years off). A fair question, especially with her being in her early 30s. Here’s what I said. I’ve always been amazed with how fast time travels, but age has never bothered me. Even with my already positive attitude about aging, having had cancer is a game changer. Growing older is better than the alternative! I’m just happy to be alive! Let’s celebrate every day!

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed., C.H.C.