Ascending From The Ashes

As many of you know, I get my blood tested in Greece. They have test there that we don’t have here. It measures circulating cancer stem cells in the blood stream. These are the cells that look to find a place attach and create their own blood supply, i.e. cause recurrences. I’ve been getting my blood tested since April 2012. I just recently got another done. While my numbers dropped from last time, they are still way higher than desired. We want my numbers <2. The results I’ve had from my first test to now are as follows: 6.3, 6.1, 5.8, 6.4, 6.1.

Ascending From The Ashes

I. Am. A. Warrior.
I can never
lay down my sword.
Yet
I hoped and prayed,
I could relax my stance.
Put my blade
back in its sheath.

No can do.
The enemy
is still circulating.
Troops lurking about.
Combat operations
being developed.
Ready to ambush.
Wanting to siege.
Almost imperceivable.

The most recent
glimpse of their
battle plan
has left me
disheartened.

My amour is secure.
In the light of day,
my smile is in place,
acting as a shield.
My thoughts swing
on rainbows and sunshine.

Quiet moments alone
bring the beast
to the forefront.
Tears of dismay
burn my eyes.
Blinding me.

On my knees,
fervently
flapping my feathers
with all the moxie
I can muster.
Cemented
in quicksand.
Struggling
to take flight.

Again.
And.
Again.
Endlessly.

Fear.
Anxiety.
Become my companions.
They follow me.
They barge into my head
and rant on
incessantly.

Their voices
attempt to devour
my every thought.
I rein them in.
Holding tightly upon the rope.
Giving them no slack.
Keeping them
rooted by my side.

Directing my thoughts
out of the abyss.
Running a positive loop
to penetrate
and overpower
their relentless
shrieking.

Struggling to shift
the teeter totter
from Discouragement
to
Pure Determination.

My Spirit Rises.
Prevails.
Squirms away
from those masqueraded comrades.

I ascend
from the ashes
to the other side.
Befriending
Hope.
Trust.
Belief.
They become
my beloved playmates!

They hold my hand
as I turn my back on the chasm
and skip toward the radiant,
panoramic landscape.

Together, we will create
new strategies.
Our forces are stronger
than theirs.
I will out maneuver them.
They. Cannot. Touch. Me.
Deep inside me,
the power is unlimited.

I.
Will.
Walk.
Through.
This.
Fire.
I believe.
I know.
I. Will. Survive.
Conquer.
Thrive.
Flourish.
Spread my wings.
Soar.
I.
Will.
Heal.
This.
Land.

Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.Ed.
Certified Health Coach
May 1 – 3, 2014
Poem #385

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