In the last almost two years, I’ve had seven surgeries on the girls, chosen to change my entire way of life, and ergo gone through a Quantum Evolution. I am the very best version of ME that I have ever been. Nancy Version 2.0. Each day, I look forward to further expansion by actively engaging in self-advancement. During this journey over, around, and through the expansive sierras, I am learning many lessons in human nature which both swell and deflate my heart, each side equally as deep.
I am profoundly humbled by the many who steadily hold my hand and walk by my side with unwavering support. They have erected scaffolding under my feet and perpetually champion my genesis. They take every single step with me, struggling to be in my purple Birkenstock sandals as much as viable. Our relationships are flourishing under the veil of adversity and in the triumph of the psyche.
There are unexpected supporters who have traipsed from my yesterdays into my todays with ease and elegance. Our histories were inked on the same parchment, and they have paraded back into my life and animated our stories once again.
There are some who sojourn when they can, trek with me for a mile or two, and switch back to saunter upon their own trails.
In quasi-spontaneous crossroads and intersections, there are those who come forward, whispering in my ear. Unbeknownst to me, they have been striding adjacent to me all along, hand-in-hand, silently shouting cheers on my behalf.
There are many muted observers, witnessing my travels from a TripTik, inspired by the direction I’ve taken, and are using my travel guide as a beacon for their own lives.
There are also those I’ve encountered because we share a carbon quest. We have faced kindred obstacles and grace. We have declared our distinct expeditions. We soar together, harmonize, and synthesize into one powerful voice.
Mournfully, in tandem, there are those who try to hike with me but, for whatever reason, can’t handle the altitude or the unexpected turns and twists. They profess their ceaseless devotion. Yet before their words can emerge as an echo, they vanish, and their covenant shatters upon the concrete.
There are those who swing by, ever so briefly, and only at their own convenience, to yank upon my freshly situated oxygen mask and tap it for their own hardships, depleting my limited supply. Without warning or notice, having no regard for the topography of my crusade, they evaporate into thin air.
Most distressingly, are those who have directly and deliberately turned their backs on me and darted away. They scaled the mountains with me for a while, holding my hand, pulling me up, lulling me into believing they were an intertwined net, ready to rescue me if I fell. While rappelling, abruptly and unpredictably, they unfastened the anchors and let go of the rope, plummeting me into a chasm and abandoning me as I crashed upon the cliffs. Those gashes plunge deeper than any of the scars carved across my chest.
I cannot begin to express the intensity of emotions that have occurred on both sides of my heart. The majority of my loved ones have raised me to new elevations, and I am forever grateful. Adversely, there are those who have brought me to subterranean voids. Although my heart is pained as some of my relationships have been redefined or discarded as easily as a crumpled tissue, every plot has a teeter-totter antithesis.
The symmetry is stunningly organic. A definitive and abundant locus. It is what it is. I am learning serenity: the courage to refine who I am, not letting my ego protest in opposition, and detaching from what I cannot change. My salve is Panoramic Optics. A knowing that transcends a flimsy superficiality and penetrates infinite dimensions beyond a limited scope. I can say without hesitation or ambiguity, never before, have I known with such profound certainty, I am exactly who and where I am meant to be!
Nancy L. Baskin Michlin, M.ED., C.H.C.
September 14-15, 2013